All readers

Bio-Theology

Parents

Professionals

Adults

Other

[?] Subscribe To This Site

LEFT for horses-helping-troubled-teens.com

Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) occurs when the male partner rapidly or prematurely reaches an orgasm. He gets too excited too quickly. PE is a classified dysfunction by the DSM-IV as 302.25, although many, if not most, insurance companies will not pay for its psychotherapeutic treatment.

Diagnosis

PE is characterized by persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation. It can occur before, during, shortly after, or before the male wants it to occur. Age, novelty, and recent frequency of sexual activity, can all affect PE. "Novelty" here can mean of a new partner or situation. Another criteria is that it causes marked distress or interpersonal difficulties. Finally, it cannot be related to substance withdrawal

Perspective

Now men (and their partners), to put things into perspective on this, Mother Nature (a.k.a. natural selection) probably selected for fairly fast ejaculation in men. Kensey found that 75% of men ejaculate within two minutes of vaginal entry.¹ Sorry guys and gals, porn movies aside, fairly rapid ejaculation is the norm. This conclusion was later supported in the research by Hite and his associates.² It is our cultural expectation that males "hang in there" for longer periods. Additionally, the median time for coitus (sexual intercourse) is only 10 minutes. Good sex is rapid and intense! (Sigh, now what do we do with the rest of the evening?) FYI, some 37% of men suffer from chronic rapid ejaculation.

This being said, I much prefer to last until my wife has had or is about to have her orgasm. It makes for a more intimate, intense, and meaningful experience when we both have our orgasms at the same time.

Treatment

Home Remedies (self-treatment)

Divert attention to non-sexual thoughts, count sheep, thinking about tomorrows to-do list, etc.
Biting your lip (ouch!)
Pinching yourself (another ouch!)
Use of several condoms to decrease sensitivity (expensive, and not environmental friendly)
A layer of something between two condoms, e.g., cotton, linoleum, old tires :-).
Desensitizing lotion (available at your local drugstore)
Paradoxical Intervention: direct attention to the details of the sensations you are experiencing. Change rhythm or position, situation and note sensation changes.
Relaxation/breathing: Consciously relax your body/mind when penetrate. For example, start with right foot and work up to your head, relaxing muscles and breathing as you go. Inhale as penetrate, exhale as withdraw.
Change positions/action. Men are more likely to have PE when rapidly going in and out. Try, maintaining deep penetration with little movement, go slower, go in a circular pattern, letting partner know when you need to rest when you feel yourself building toward an orgasm.
Increase frequency of sexual activity.
Increase masturbation frequency, practicing stopping or slowing down when you feel yourself moving toward an orgasm.

Professional help

Master and Johnson (1970) squeeze technique.
Seman's method (1956)--a stop and start technique.
Psychotherapy to explore underlying anxiety or other issues.

Literature Cited

¹Kinsey, Pomeroy, and Martin. 1948. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, W.B. Saunders, Philadelphia. Back to text
²Hite. 1976. The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. MacMillian. Back to text

Good Read for Self-Help

Zilbergeld, B. 1992. The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition. Bantam.

Enroll in our free e-newsletter, Mustang Medicine Works Mental Musings, now and get a free e-booklet, Basic Meditation, by Darrell Yardley, click here

Join us on Twitter.com

Darrell G Yardley on Facebook

Sex Therapy Index

Sex Addiction
Premature Ejaculation
Sexual Abuse Erectile Dysfunction
Female Sexual Arousal Disorder
Hypoactive Sexual Disorder
Female Orgasmic Disorder

Custom Search